We think we are objective and rational and decide on the basis of facts and evidence to discover truth. But instead of that, we exist to a much greater extent than we realise in a subjective world governed by perception. Furthermore, dualities are innate in the mind of the Thorlin, so that every idea is defined in terms of the opposite – speech / writing; presence / absence; nature / culture; logic / rhetoric; concept / metaphor; masculine / feminine; intelligible / sensible – with the two poles containing, and depending upon, each other. We are forced to tell stories to understand this World, and through tales we create ourselves and our lives, and portray ourselves to others. It would be fair to say there that even the skeleton of an ancient city, laid waste by disaster and desolate, crawls with meaning and the spectres of language, culture, and meaning. Although we shouldn’t insist that reality is created of nothing but language, it is true to admit without the slightest doubt that everything is tied together by linguistic ligatures – in as much as we comprehend things as explicable concepts, anyway.

“Waking the Slumbering Giant”

Ms Sesiline Arian [0]

 

 

Well, hello everyone! Fred here [1]. I’ve been very busy recently. I’ve got to be, as things’re changing so quickly in our sad and painful world at the moment, and I’m fearful I’ll be left behind otherwise. I’ve just finished a superb online course with a group called the “Orchid Lodge,” learning about “Practical Ethereal Invocation.” By the Seven Unspeakable Ones, it was hard for a man like me who’s more familiar with simple things like cultivating the best fungus and preparing potions [2]. Good grief, I performed exceptionally well that night up the Bare Mountain with the young trainee Dai, I really did! To be honest, I don’t know what I’ve conjured, nor whether I’ll be able to get rid of It. One thing’s certain, I’ll have to practise the banishing spells like crazy from now on! But at least It's not sticking to me, Wezir be thanked!

 

Dai'll have to concentrate more on the lessons in Defence against Baleful Wizardry with the Old Soldier from now on – and him calling himself a Sorcerer, the old fool! The lad needs to find a familiar of course, if he could only tame it, but he cogitates too much about all the languages and those fancy ideas, without devoting enough time to learning his trade. Come to think of it, maybe some deep, dark, secret part of him attracts that kind of thing to him, despite the foolish appearance and the mercurial behaviour. It's impossible to get to know him, somehow, he's a living paradox teeming with too many contradictions, and his crazy words are so hellishly alluring, but nightmarish, too. I find myself, I have to confess, liking him very much, although he can be a very bad lad sometimes. Well, everyone's foolish on occasions, aren't they?

 

Despite all that, I'm delighted. I have succeeded where many others have failed. Who'd have thought that I could make a Thingummy-jig? To think that I discovered "the essential, secret ingredient, known only to the true Wizard" by complete accident – the Young Trainee's fear, and wrath, and love. Thanks to Bishop’s Oily Feather! I've no clue how to use the gadget, but that ring lets me do great things! But then again, over the Season of Long Repentance, I’ve been hard at it in the dungeon of the College of the Fallen She-Angels, this time doing a course to learn how to control the natural elements {Long Repentence}. Oh, dear heavens, it was great! I’d like to send a huge “thanks” to our tutor, Arianithi Sesilithi, who was seraphic, but quite serpentine too. Well, no surprise there, as everyone’s getting more and more bestial these days. I haven’t had so much fun for ages, and that’s something to celebrate in today’s dismal and barbaric times. Needless to say, we all learned a lot of stuff too, and the techniques are very useful for keeping the miniature mechanical leeches away! Unfortunately, I can’t share the magical secrets with you, for your own good, and ‘cos I’ve promised. However, I’ve been writing lots of letters, and things for our local Kimbric-language paper the Air-Masher, over the years, including reports on plays. So, here’s a bit of my scribbling to give you a taste of how things have been progressing round here.

 

 

THEATRICAL MAGIC: Greetings Fellow Culture-Vultures! Mr Fred Phantastic here, critic of the performing arts (although not one who’s too judgemental!), asking ‘Is this a dagger I see before me?’ This month I’d like to present you with a review of a play I went to see Aber-cennin Town Hall. To be honest, the real reason I attended the event was because Ethelwen, my lodger’s little niece (who’ s 16 years old) was playing an important part, but I have to say, despite that, I enjoyed myself very much. The play, called ‘Skulduggery in the Severest Septentrion,’ was written originally by the Dutsh playwright called Vihlelm Shpírshvinga, I believe (that is, ‘Gwilym Chwifiwr-gwaywffon’ in Kimbric). It’s set in the Blue Zone in ancient times. It contains characters like ‘Queen Tshor-ítho Me-khor’ and ‘Jonbo Stansun’ her lover, who kills her in the end. And the two of them want to kill their worst enemy, ‘Lord Yirmyaw Cohrwo.’ But all the time, in the background, behind the scenes, apart from the Wizards and the Nobles, there’s 'The Honourable Lady Meykbeds' (or 'MacBeth,' or whatever!), Lady of the Bedchamber to the Bloody Queen, planning, and spinning lies, and pulling strings in order to fulfil her own ends [3].

 

In fact, the play’s often referred to as ‘MacBeth’ (in Kimbric), ‘Meykbeds’ (in Pretanic), ‘Metcuid’ (in Dutsh and the other Fat Tongues), and ‘Makidyuh’ (in the languages of the Keltic North), as well as various others names around the World, rather than the longer title [4]. And in Pretanic everyone tends to say ‘Wilko Shake-a-Shaft’ when talking about the Rhapsode, so the wonderful man sounds like some circus performer, and the great work like some kind of greasy burger you’d eat there (or some yucky medicine, maybe)! I’m not happy hearing people translating names, in general, they’re so important, aren’t they? (I wonder what’s his real name – his mystic name – his magic name?) But everybody does that these days. That’s the fashion, I guess. Then again, the ministers of the EGO are starting to preach so loudly against using the Old Ways. They already influence so much of what’s on the sound-transceiver and the picture-house screens, and things are going to get worse sooner or later, I fear. If only someone could conjure a hero to save the folk like in the old days – Would that he could!

 

The play contains lots of historical politics and awful things like lords who are asleep all the time in the Palace of the Exalted Elders, when they’re not lying compulsively, enslaving and exploiting the proles, and slaughtering each other (no change there, then!). It’s definitely very exciting, but why a Dutsh dramatist would write about things that happened in the Blue Zone centuries ago is causing me a headache. I love the horrible story, though, about spirits that tend on mortals’ thoughts, filling them from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty, whilst thickening the blood. It’s also strangely relevant to the situation in this land of Pretany today, without a doubt! I believe (although I’m not completely sure) that the People of the Blue Zone in their tartan kilts want to seize power in the Islands of the Disunited Kingdoms, with the help of the World-Wide Military Mercantile Union, using technology like smoke machines and magic mirrors.

 

The niece performed exceptionally well as Lady Meykbeds, shouting and weeping and rushing up and down, wearing some kind of sheet, a bit like a ghost or a witch. It turns out she’s serving those Weird Powers called the Delkvovim who want to impose their will on all the Delkurí who live in our World, and change them forever, I believe. (I’m sorry, I’m not sure about the foreign words here – see below.) To be honest, the amazing young woman killed herself (only in the play, of course), and every last one of ‘em got killed too it appears. After all, ‘It will have blood, they say, Blood will have blood,’ as the quotation declares on the posters.

 

Everyone says that the translation of the play into Kimbric by the strange lad from some undeveloped country on the banks of the Sed in the Heart of the Continent (allegedly), named Daa·hweeth Oh·fé or Daud Pekar (Dai Baxter, I say) is excellent (odd name he’s got though, hasn’t he?) [5].  Despite that, one thing was really hard for me. I didn’t understand the majority of what the actors were saying – perhaps they were speaking the Fat Tongue in lots of places, or some odd old dialect of Kimbric – although the words sounded like sheep bleating or somesuch. Some kind of rubbish, in any case. Or maybe it was just almost impossible to translate this great work. After all, they sure do like making strange compound words in that stupendously complex Dutsh  language all the time, don’t they? So, what, precisely, was happening? What do I know? Despite that it was an unforgettable experience, and exceptionally cultural, with all the babies in cauldrons, and walking forests, and all the blood as red as tomato ketchup! ‘And the trees destroyed more of the people than the sword destroyed that day’ – Hraythvalz' Prophetic History was right about that without a doubt, even if he was an old rogue.

 

The company (‘The Fickle Fol-de-Rols’ as they are known to the intelligentsia – a one-woman team but with seven faithful followers and hangers-on) will be dragging themselves around the towns and villages of the Southlands across the Springtide to bring the wonder of culture to the common people during this cruellest season, which grows lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire. You should go to see this dazzling show, definitely. A word to the wise – there’s more than enough blood flowing like a slippery, sticky river through this performance from start to finish. There’s no small amount of the old Kvódjú witchery too, as well as a dollop of bad language, as far as I know. Be careful if you’re not too fond of violent series like ‘Out of the Shadows’ on the damned televisual screen (Ooh, but it really does make me quiver with excitement every time!).

 

 

UNBLOCKING MY PIPES: Oh, steady on now, me old mates, there was trouble and strife in Our ‘Ouse recently with the plumbing. Not that I’m a man to complain about anything, but, on the other hand, I always want to give warm thanks to people for good service. So, here you have a copy of the letter I sent to express how grateful I was when I was saved from a fate worse than a six-hour Service of the Sacrament of Communal Mortification in the local House of Repentance — 

 

‘Warm as Toast’ Heating Services (A subsidiary of Llavascha Intercontinental Ltd., Specialists in: Central Heating (Installation and Repair), Double Glazing, Air-Conditioning, Beetle-Extermination, Ultraviolet Air-Purification, Personal Protection Equipment, Counter-Fraud, Anti-Corruption and Security Management Systems, Body-Guards and Mercenaries, Displaced-Person Tracing, Cut-Price Comestibles, Innovative Beauty Products, Natural and Artificial Medicaments, Multi-Sensory Entertainment Cartridges, Incandescent Halogen Lights, and World-Wide Transport of Sand, Ice, and Spices).

 

For the attention of the Peerless Directrice Generale.

Dear Cousin Ivana!

 

Very fortunately, I had need of calling upon your company for succour and support last week when I experienced awful problems with the central heating in the tiny six-bedroom cottage behind the mansion, where I have been living over the Wintertide due to ructions with my lady lodger, and I almost froze to death. It would be the understatement of the century saying we'd fallen out: I had fallen asleep while her niece was performing in a play, but that’s a different issue.

 

Your advertisements (they are to be seen on the noticeboards in Tesbyro) claim that ‘We are the most professional in the business’ and in truth, as a result of my experience, I would say that this self-deprecating statement is totally true. Thus, I feel that I need to write to you in order to congratulate you for the standard of your service, which is exceptionally good. By the way, there is no sign of them in the horrid supermarket named Super-shops. You should put several posters there, without further delay. 

 

From the first time I made the remote call on the mobile sound-transceiver to ask for help, your staff arrived punctually on every occasion. Well, the sooner the better, they say, and I totally agree in this case! On top of that, they were patient when I kept on asking at length what was happening (this would take several hours, on occasions). Furthermore they prepared pots of tshay for me, although I do not drink such stinking brew; loopy-lichen infusion is my favourite beverage. Then again, every one of the half-dozen lads was cheerful, even when I would not eat the enormous slices of cake they offered me as regular as clockwork, either. Although, thinking about it, I think six people is excessive for dessert-proffering duties, mind you!

 

The standard of the work itself was excellent also, because the place began to feel as warm as Faraqand’s Largest Desert after they left for the third time, not to mention the fact that your prices are exceedingly reasonable, after taking into account all the costly boxes of aromatic green tshay from the Bheuht Plateau, and the fish cakes from the rainforests of the Fabled Warrior-women (although lots of people say ‘the Lungs of the World’ these days!). That’s why I am insisting on paying in full and adding a substantial tip, although I am not made of money, in truth. You offer service that is second to none, so I shall be contacting you again, and I shall tell my lady lodger to do the exactly the same thing if I see her soon (I hope to goodness I shan't!). Keep up the good work: you are knights in shining armour! I would like to give you the highest praise, and more.

 

With every best wish from your most cordial cousin,

Fred Fantastic.

 

 

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY! Things are going from bad to worse in our lovely community of Yellowhill right now, as a company called ‘Super-shops’ wants to open an enormous supermarket in the middle of the town next year. Everyone realizes that they’ve done exactly the same thing before in the cities around the area, causing most of the local sellers and producers to lose their jobs. They allege that they’re stimulating the economy and creating wealth, but as you know, this is a barefaced lie in truth, and they’re just talking shit. And what about Tesbyro? That’s already the least bad place to shop in, say I.

 

Having said that, a new school, three hundred houses, a hostelry, and a picture-house have been created in the brand-new 'development area' in Aber-cennin recently,  but I can’t myself identify the cause of this precipitous change. The next thing to happen here is that the company's unctuous (and obviously overpaid) spokespersons are intending to come up from our Lovely Ancient Capital to meet innocent and unsuspecting members of the public in our pretty little town, so that we can ‘find out more information’ regarding the awful situation that’s quickly developing. It’s not information that’s needed here, but direct action. If not you then who; if not now then when? 

 

Be sure to be there, in the Town Hall, 1st Afresh-moon at 9am to express your opposition to this horrible plan. Use your voice or lose your self-respect! If you don’t do anything, we’ll all suffer terribly in the future. I should know – I myself have already lost lots of business selling beauty cream outside Tesbyro. I believe that it’s one of the Super-shops agitators (that deplorable lodging-lady, Enwen, probbaly –drat 'er!) who told the Patriotic People's Militia about my little venture – the old devil. Let us stand together – in unity lies strength!

 

 

EXCITING NEWS ABOUT THE FESTIVAL OF TRUTH AND LIGHT: As everyone knows, for my sins I’m organizing everything for this festival. The two of us on the committee have chosen Johnny Fatso to be our invited speaker. We used to be in the same class as each other when we were kids until he got thrown out because he was stealing apples from the lady teacher. For your information, here am I, having a word with the old bugger who’s not worth the price of the stamp to be honest, but there we are, Enwen was adamant — 

 

The Honourable John Grossmann.

Dear Sir!

 

Dr Fantastic is my name. I live in Yellowhill, that is, that most desirable area of Aberdydd [6], and I am chairperson of a small discussion group called ‘The Part-timers’ at the moment. First of all, can I congratulate you on being elected to the Star Chamber (by fair means or foul) once again, by a hair’s breadth this time of course! But then again, better the devil you know that the angel you don’t, as those oh-so cunning but incomprehensible semionauts put it [7]! Not that you yourself are such a terribly bad person, of course, I have to say (literally and metaphorically!). Well, we are celebrating this year too, as it is out fortieth anniversary, and therefore we will be organising a lot of events throughout the town, which will be full of banners, flags, and ribbons (the events and the town, alike).

 

One of the special occasions will be a party in the Streylyan bar called ‘The Cheeky Wallaby,’ on the International Day of Truth and Light, Febrile-moon 29th, starting at 3pm – so everyone will have enough time to get jolly, let us say. We would be in our element if you could join us in order to enjoy a glass of red wine and a cheese sandwich, and offer a toast to all the discerning departed. I know that you went to the ‘other place,’ namely to Grantashoals Poly-varsity, whilst I attended Kinespan Unitechnic College. But despite the fact that you studied a retrofuturistic, contra-convergent course named ‘Principles of Practice’ (without needing to graduate), perhaps you would hold forth for a few minutes (up to two hours would do the trick) on the importance of moral education in contemporary society.

 

We are not a wealthy institution, more’s the pity (we always buy only what we can drink in the hostelry!), and therefore I am very sorry that I cannot pay you for your trouble, especially as I know how important it is to you to gain reimbursement from the public purse. Having said that, it will be possible for us to provide a return bus ticket to Aber-cennin for you if you travel during the cheapest period. You are a supporter of public transport, no doubt. Then, someone will meet you when you arrive. I hope you will come to take part. I have no need to say, there will be a correspondent from the local paper there on the day; we bear in mind that publicity is of the greatest importance to politicians. Let me know about the arrangements as soon as it may be convenient, if you please. 

 

I am, Sir [8], your humble and obedient servant,

Frederick Fantastic, Esq.

 

 

APPLYING FOR A JOB: After all the problems when I was working like crazy to stop the invasion by giant insects in the strange Clinic in the woods near the old Bluehouse a few years ago, it’s been hard for me to stick at it with a permanent job. But by now, money’s scarce – and everyone for him/her self, and devil take the hindmost, is the saying of the day. So, when I happened to come across the advertisement in the local paper for a very appropriate job, I felt I should apply at once, and here’s what I wrote — 

 

Chief Guardian of the Dreamy Castle

Dear Madame Síykōsis! [9]

 

I have seen the advertisement for the job of ‘Aberdydd Mythical Centre Full-time Self-managing Assistant’ in the local paper this month, and I am very keen to apply for this. There were not a lot of details in the advertisement, therefore I would like to tell you something about myself in order to prove that I am suitable to do the work that will need to be done from day to day. I work at home at the moment as a freelance translator, producing versions of old manuscripts written in dead languages, such as ‘The Cauldron which is Always Full’ from Bahia, Brasa-land. So, I can start at once. I used to work as a bio-alchemist, and became a self-taught specialist when I moved back to Kimbria, as a result of my interest in the legends of the Temple of the Hidden Glory in Worldsend. So, I have a lot of experience in unusual things. 

 

I have been working hard to learn Kimbric all my life, and I think that I am as fluent as anyone else by now. I have just sat the exam for the qualification called ‘Diploma in Studies,’ which is provided by the Combined Institutions of Kinespan and Grantashoals. Why is this not offered by a Kimbric-language College in Kimbria? I do not know. I passed with flying colours in this test, and now I can orate using horrifyingly complex sentences in Ancient Kimbric, such as those in ‘Enchantment of the Keltic Tongues’ by the sisters Lisi and Margot Lyons of the Blue Zone [opere citātō — P.M.]. (I do have some minor problems with ultra-complex horror-plays translated from the Fat Tongues, however, although that should not, I hope, be relevant in the role under consideration here.)

 

I would be pleased to get a chance to support our language, our culture, our history, and our strange customs in the Centre and to promote them in the wider community beyond – as if by magic, or not. I must say that I am very fond of animals, especially cats, and if necessary I can deal with people very well too, according to my permanent lodging-lady. I am perfectly sure that the community service in the school for unique children that I had to do on account of an unfortunate mistake in the workplace has been very useful from the point of view of learning to understand people, old and young, and their profusion of foibles [10]. Furthermore, I have found the Centre’s opening times during the week on the site on the accursed international electronic network (that is, the "e-site"), and indeed I believe that an e-presence is exceptionally important. I wish to confirm immediately that these times are highly suited to my unique work-patterns and my particular abilities.

 

I went on a course called Purposeful, Convincing and Profitable Communication Training in the Seventy-Seven Faceless Martyrs Faith School recently. I am familiar with the theory and practice of effective dissemination, and can develop a complex plan for the Centre, using highly specialized artificial-brain protocols with secret algorithms to increase our virtual visibility for free [11]. On top of that, I would like to use social networks (and antisocial ones!) to work closely with new audiences and to earn income, using the media to promote the Centre’s activities, by writing stories suitable for the news, and by fashioning press-releases. 

 

I have only two questions, namely: first of all, will I need to apply for finance at all? I have won a small amount from the Princely Association of Kimbria in the past (a name which is incomprehensible to my confused mind at least, since "prince" is a title belonging to the oppressive Pink Zone, but there we are, there’s nowt as strange as folk, is there?) [12], in order to perform the relevant experiments for perfecting a potion of second-sight from medicinal mushrooms and a soothing drug that veterinary surgeons use for horses, cattle, and other animals (but which is exceptionally effective on human beings too, and very good for treating skin infections). Having said that, I would appreciate additional training if that were available. I always love acquiring strange new knowledge, although one must admit that this gets harder and harder as one ages!

 

My second question is this: what will be the equivalent hours over the weekend? I would prefer working on Sadderday than on Fireday afternoon, as I need to attend a ceremony in the Temple at that time, in my role as Keeper of the Secrets. I hope that you could satisfy my special needs in this. (Oh, by the way, I also have a third little question. I do not need a great deal of extra money, as I am of independent means, although I am not rolling in bank-notes to say the least. I must enquire, therefore:  how much is the regular wage, if you would be so kind? – My financial consultant Ethelwen has insisted I ascertain all the details before beginning on this new adventure.) I am keenly awaiting your answer. I look forward to beginning as soon as it may be possible and in truth I am terribly excited.

 

Yours sincerely,

Frederick Fantastic.

 

Well, there we are at the end of our chattering once again, you folks! Bye-bye for now, I’ll see you all again next month with more culture, current affairs, community announcements, and so on and so forth, ad nauseam – and remember, ‘Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.’

 

 *             *             *             *             *             *             *             *

 

[0] She is also called (so it is said) Nana Arianithi Sesilithi (or Méytēr Ari·adní Shthesslethís, or Mékhtēr Kr’nday Shezesieldish). Others claim that she is an undercover agent for the Kowled Kult of the Konsecrated Kleansers, who have been working subliminally for ages to release the proletariat’s immeasurable unconscious power by employing hellish rites like “Beheading the Coal-Children” with the assistance of seedy overseas agitators (possibly from the unspeakable Southern Continent). One must confess that no-one has ever been able to prove this scurrilous slur against the amazing author (well, at least quite a few people of my acquaintance – and F Llwynlesg for certain – seem to have heard of her underground self-help pamphlets, even if they have not read them carefully). — P.M.

 

[1] For years, Frederick Llwynlesg delighted in editing (and, indeed, writing most of) the articles in the local bilingual Community Paper “The Air-Masher / Y Malwr-Awyr.” He would often scribble what might be politely described as “diary entries” on the back of some of the sheets. and I have integrated these notes here and elsewhere to give a fuller picture of the goings-on in Kimbria, although presumably they were not intended for publication at the time. To be perfectly honest, I do not know whether any of this material ever actually did see the light of day, although it was produced very professionally. (I would often notice huge piles of pages lying forlornly around in Frederick’s “modest dwelling.” ) I am sure, though, that the old “ling-wizard” spent considerable time (too much time, maybe) working on “his little project” every month, and really enjoyed the experience. — P.M.

 

[2] Note to the reader: I have, of course, never been one to indulge in intoxicating substances, not to mention being addicted to them. However, I learned from the Master Hlothrig Faland-ashé [that is, Frederick Llwynlesg or ‘Fred Fantastic’ — P.M.] (and, in the course of my extensive and painful investigations, from various others), more interesting and terrifying facts regarding freaky fungus, medicinal mushrooms, mesmeric mould, mortal mead, sacred snuff, and stupefying spice, than I could ever have dreamed about. — D.B.P.

 

[3] It is said by “those in the know” that the true (unmentionable) name of this character comes originally from Old Yrthian, and contains very powerful magic, but can also be very unlucky. That is why the various alternatives are used. Maybe ‘MacBeth’ is some clever combination of ‘M’ (‘Me-khor’), ‘C’ (‘Cohrwo’), and ‘beyth’ (the second letter of the Vrethian abjad, meaning ‘house’). In Kimbric, of course, ‘mêc’ means ‘the composition or construction of a thing; the way something is made,’ and the question ‘beth? (what?)’ derives from ‘pa beth? (which thing?)’. Come to think about it, the name ‘Meykbeds’ reminds me of the saying (in Pretanic at least, rather than Kimbric): 'You’ve made your bed, and now you’ll have to lie in it.' — F Llwynlesg. In fact, the correct titles in Old Ilknish for lofty lads and glorious gals were “Lóhdnum” and “Láhdy” but these superlative appellations (like everything else, I am sorry to say), became corrupted over time. Ah, how fickle the tongues of the Thorlin! — D.B.P.

 

[4] No-one on the face of this Fruitful Planet understands how inspired persons-of-letters think or function, nor why they do as they do, in my opinion, despite all the most up-to-date theories regarding “psychochaotic-semiotic sorcery” – which is, of course, more properly known as “phaneronics,” as in my pioneering work.  (And I am referring both to the original author and the young translator Daud Pekar, here.) Thus, the true meaning of this play’s title shall remain a holy mystery (together with a substantial number of other things in every literary production, as far as I am concerned). But here are various ideas which have caught my attention recently regarding details which might be relevant. With a view to the first element, in Dutsh we think of “machen,” namely “to make, to do, to produce, to prepare,” and “mac,” or “guy, bloke.” And considering the second part, in Dutsh one finds “beten” (“to pray”), “bett” (“bed”), or “bedarf” (“need, want”). The first element sounds like “maca” or “foster-child” in Kimbric. Or maybe “mach” (“meichau, meichiau, meichion, meich” in the plural) which means a person who becomes responsible for ensuring a contract is fulfilled, or for the appearance of a person in court; a guarantor for the payment of a debt or the confirmation of an allegation; someone who sponsors a child during the Washing Ceremony; a pledge or hostage. There again, meditating on the second syllable, one is reminded that, in Kimbric, “bedd” is a burial-place, a hole dug in the ground to receive a coffin or dead body, especially one marked by a gravestone or mound; a tomb; a gravestone. On the other hand, “peth” or “pethau” means case, matter, business; interests, circumstances, conditions; act, action, deed; occurrence; what is said or thought; declaration, opinion, idea; attribute, characteristic, feature, trait, or quality. “Metcuid” may be from the Etruscan (recall that speakers of the Fat Tongues are very fond of using ancient phrases), “M et C Quid?” or “mēta + quid” where “mēta” is “boundary, cone, goal, limit, pyramid, turning-point, winning-post” and “quid” is “how? / well! / what? / what for? / why?” (note also that “MC” corresponds to 1,100). “Makidyuh” could derive from Eyrwian “mak” (“son”) and “kidyuh” (“part”). In other languages, “mac” means “mother, partner, pebble, pimp, poppy, quack, sin,” and “beth” means “we/you/they are; he/she/it would be.” The meaning of “meyk” can be “cloud, horde, mix, sky.” And “bed” can denote “ask!, bird, bad, garden-plot, universe.” Who knows what was intended? Not I! But, having said that, the Nameless Force bestows its gifts in mysterious ways, after all (according to Nam-shaon, at least), doesn’t it? So, maybe we shall discover something deep hidden within in the fullness of time! — D.B.P.

 

[5] Dai Baxter was like a “skin-walker” from Central Shaywiya [that is, a “nahwal” — P.M.], who could take whatever shape he wanted from day to day and wear innumerable personalities according to need. In today’s World that changes so quickly, so randomly, so wildly, and so chaotically, it was he who scrutinized the folly of existence and depicted it such great detail and so jocosely, interestingly, and heart-breakingly. Every one of his “performances” – of his lives – was full of comedy and tragedy that would make you laugh, and think, and question the most common presuppositions about yourself and the Broken Mill of society. But despite taking the Great Work so seriously, the daft young llama would always be joking about this invalid logical deduction: “Other men die; I am not another man; So, I shall not die.” [“denying the antecedent” ((O ⇒ D & ~O) ⇒ ~D) — P.M.] Somehow or other, I believe, hopefully, he’ll be living forever, somewhere. — F.Ll.

 

[6] By the way – How does one pronounce the name of this lovely, ugly town where I live at present, I hear you ask? It is, after all, a name that’s become thoroughly Kimbric over the centuries, and, of course, stress in our ancient language is almost always on the penultimate syllable. (In many other tongues, it’s the first syllable, or otherwise has to be indicated by odd accent-marks!) However, those who know their onions say Aber-DYDD without a thimbleful of hesitancy, on the basis of abstruse linguistic considerations in Ancient Keltic [see: “Enchantment of the Keltic Tongues,” L Lyons and M Lyons, Aberdydd: Northishfolk Press. — P.M.]. This pronunciation’s represented as “abɛrˈdiːð” in the universal vocal symbols. You’ll also see the spelling Aber-dydd plastered on signs here and there from time to time to reflect this stress. There’s some others who know better, allegedly, however, and insist on saying, totally incorrectly, AB-er-dydd (or even worse, Ab-ER-dydd, although that sounds exceptionally odd to my tender ear). [The same ones who idolize the old Yarl Aber-Dygdhar, no doubt. — D.B.P.] It would be worthwhile remembering that in the old Yrthian tongue, the phrase “abelé dodí” (AB-eley DO-diy) means “strange wonder” and so I believe I’m right, as usual, although the words mutated into “apele thothu” over the millennia. Why does everything have to change all the time? It’s not fair, not fair at all! — F.Ll.

 

[7] Meëbiyws Deridë vil-Sosyurgh, star pupil of the Deific Dean Mow-káhta Káhzwel and Seminal Secretary of the Semionautics School declares as follows (“A Logophilic Hammer to Demolish the Lingualistic House of Horrors”): “We recall that the old-fashioned model of meaning-making posited an infinitely thin, two-dimensional ‘plane-sign’ or ‘hypo-sign.’ Its two surfaces represent the fōrma and the essentia, with the privileged essentia uppermost. The retrofuturistic picture twists the strip by 180 degrees, and then joins the opposite edges together to produce a new three-dimensional object with only one continuous ‘non-orientable’ surface – what we might call a ‘hyper-sign.’ It is now possible to trace a path down the centre of the strip, from a starting point in the fōrma, all the way round the strip, passing through the essentia, and returning smoothly to the initial point. In the vicinity of any particular meaning, two possibilities can be distinguished (on either side of the ‘trace’), but, globally, the meanings blend together – and these ‘local meanings’ are only separated by the time taken continuously to traverse the signification. The inescapability of the ‘trace’ and the interminable twists and turns of semiosis can be further demonstrated geometrically. For, on attempting to cut asymmetrically with respect to the path just described, right around the hyper-sign, and hence resolve the knotty problem of meaning, the twisted loop does not fall apart intro two separate loops, but rather forms two smaller interlocked strips – one a hyper-sign, and the other a doubly-twisted hypo-sign! On cutting along the symmetric line, the result is a single long hypo-sign. This is the wild truth of communication: it is rarely easy; it is never simple. We shall not give up, therefore, battling against language!” — P.M.

 

[8] The old blighter. And there's no fool like an old fool! —  F.Ll.

 

[9] Madame Síykōsis is a leading member of the Sisters of Inenzus, under the name Xetlva Tshexul, according to Gertrude Llwynlesg, although she also uses the name Grend·ura Dzangzar. The hair follicles all over her body are terribly and permanently inflamed due to one of the new incurable bacterial infections that appeared in the Heart of the Continent, I’m sorry to say, and so she covers herself from head to toe with a veil at all times. (By the way, it was Dai Procter who told me this with really quite inappropriate glee, in my opinion.) The old Fred Llwynlesg has tried to give her his special soothing lotion called the Diabolical Manna of Zundlakla several times over the years, completely free, whether she liked it or not, but she wasn’t at all interested, it appears. I wonder why? (He was so disappointed as he’d worked like the blazes to make this medicament, failing over and over and only succeeding on the fifth or sixth attempt after some shocking revelation in the Oppressive Pink Zone. The name, as it happens, reminded him of “Zv-m’lkvu djín,” that is, the Awful Old Divinities.) But, come to think of it, my favourite composer (G.Ll.) always claims that through accepting your suffering and transforming it, you can change the World. Well, what a truly lovely idea, but for my part, I’m still in two minds about it. — P.M.

 

[10] F.Ll. is referring here to an Experimental and Innovative Faith School for Unique Children (EIFSUCh) controlled by the Siblings of a regional branch of the Humble Society of Invigilators and Correctors. There are, for instance, “The Glory of the Seven Deadly Words”, “The Jubilant Celebration of Thebe’s Oblivion”, “The Seventy-Seven Faceless Martyrs”, and “The Sorrow of the Inveterate Failings”. The received wisdom amongst the underclass was that each one of these superb houses of instruction safeguarded a holy relic in its sanctuary, to humble and edify the disciples, the acolytes, and the scholastics, to aid their mortification and elevate their worship. Some acutely attuned apostates intuited, however, that unclean occult objects of the worst kind were concealed there under the strictest security, to be used for much more heinous, unspoken, ends. I have heard a whisper that the clerics were working clandestinely to conjure tenebrous forces, open inter-dimensional portals, cross ultramundane bridges, and summon otherworldly entities – all to the endless honour of the Ubiquitous Vitality, of course. — D.B.P.

 

[11] Here is an exceedingly simple “model” of an more complex artificial brain called a “nodular analytic mesh” which nevertheless illustrates the general principles involved. In the “single-node module” there is only one “node” which has a variable “bias” value {b(k)} in each “epoch” {k} (often, this is zero initially), and a fixed “learning rate” {r}. The node has n variable “inputs” {x1(k) ... xn(k)} and the corresponding “target output” {h(k)} in each epoch {k}. Each input has a variable “weight” {w1(k) ...  wn(k)}, in each epoch {k}. The weights represent the “strength” with which the inputs influence the node and are initially assigned randomly. There is one “predicted value” {z(k)} for each epoch. All of this shown in the diagram below.

In epoch {k}, one set of data {x1(k) ... xn(k)} is passed through the nodular mesh by “forward propagation.” The node calculates y(k) = b(k) + x1(k) w1(k) +...+ xn(k) wn(k). It then uses an “activation function” {f} (which can be non-linear according to the needs of the particular problem), to produce a “predicted value” {z(k)} for that epoch, namely: z(k) = f( y(k) ).

 

The nodular mesh “learns” through a process called “backpropagation.” It first calculates the “cost” for that epoch: C(k) = g(z(k) – h(k)). The weights and bias are then updated as follows (here, the capital letters F and G represent the derivatives of the corresponding functions f and g): wj(k+1) = wj(k) – r G( z(k) – h(k) ) F(y(k)) xj(k); and also b(k+1) = b(k) – r G( z(k) – h(k) ) F(y(k)). The process is repeated over epochs until a predetermined “stopping condition” is achieved.

 

Nodular analytic meshes can be used for: function approximation and regression analysis; classification and pattern recognition; and data processing. Some criticize them saying that they need to use enormous quantities of input as well as very large amounts of virtual memory and storage. Others complain that they are successful although we do not understand exactly how they function. On the other hand, various experts have shown that they can be used to solve sundry complex tasks and claim that hybrid models (combining nodular meshes and symbolic techniques) are very promising. — D.B.P.

 

[12] He is completely correct, of course. The Kimbrians have always preferred democratic titles like “Brigand Chief.” In terms of showing respect in the New Royal Household, here is the official pecking-order. The beasts of the field and serfs soft-soap the dairymaid and other nonentities, who butter up the freemen, who cower before the aldermen, who prostrate before the Senior Under-butler, who kowtows to the Privy Councillor, who fawns before the Equerry who grovels in front of the Factotum Major, who genuflects to the Concubine, who kneels before the Chamberlain, who salutes the Minor Royals (Princesses and Princes), who curtsy to the Kwén, who gets to caress the most noble personage of His Majesty the Kyning (may the Eternal Sagacity bless him and keep him!). —D.B.P.

 

 

Dyn ni’n meddwl ein bod yn wrthrychol a rhesymegol, ac yn penderfynu ar sail ffeithiau a thystiolaeth i ddarganfod gwirionedd. Ond yn lle hynny, dyn ni’n bodoli i raddau mwy o lawer nag ein bod yn sylweddoli mewn byd goddrychol wedi’i reoli gan ganfyddiad. Ymhellach, duoliaeth sy’n gynhenid ym meddwl y Thorlin, nes bod pob syniad wedi’i ddiffinio yn nhermau’r gwrthwyneb – llefaru / ysgrifennu; presenoldeb / absenoldeb; natur / diwylliant; rhesymeg / rhethreg; cysyniad / trosiad; gwrywaidd / benywaidd; dealladwy / synwyradwy – a’r ddau begwn yn cynnwys, ac yn dibynnu ar, ei gilydd. Dyn ni’n cael ein gorfodi i ddweud straeon i ddeall y Byd hwn, a thrwy chwedlau dyn ni’n ein creu’n hun a’n bywydau, a’n portreadu’n hun i eraill. Fyddai’n deg dweud yma mai hyd yn oed ysgerbwd dinas hynafol, wedi’i difetha gan drychineb ac yn anghyfannedd, sy’n heigio o rithiau iaith, diwylliant, ac ystyr. Er na ddylem daeru bod realiti wedi’i greu o ddim byd ond iaith, mae’n wir cyfaddef heb unrhyw amheuaeth o gwbl fod popeth wedi’i gysylltu â chlymiadau ieithyddol – i’r graddau yr ydym yn dirnad pethau fel cysyniadau esboniadwy beth bynnag.

“Dihuno’r Cawr yn Cysgu”

Ms Sesiline Arian [0]

 

 

Wel, helo bawb! Ffred sy ma [1]. Wi di bod yn brysur iawn yn ddiweddar. Rhaid i fi neud hyn gan fod pethau’n newid mor gyflym yn ein byd trist a phoenus ni ar hyn o bryd, a wi’n ofni bydda i’n cael ‘ngadael ar ôl fel arall. Newydd gwpla cwrs bendigedig ar-lein gyda grŵp o’r enw “Cyfrinfa'r Tegeirianau” dw i, gan ddysgu am “Arddeisyf Etheraidd Ymarferol.” Neno’r Saith Anhraethadwy, roedd yn anodd i ddyn fel fi sy’n fwy cyfarwydd â phethau syml fel meithrin y ffwng gorau a pharatoi dognau [2]. Bobol bach, perfformiais i eithriadol o dda y noson honno lan y Mynydd Llwm gyda'r hyfforddai ifanc Dai, wir i chi! A bod yn onest, sa i’n nabod be wi di gonsurio nac a fydda i’n gallu cael gwared arno Fe. Mae un peth yn siŵr: fe fydd arna i angen ymarfer y swynion bwrw allan fel y cythraul o hyn ‘mlaen! Ond o leia nage fi ma Fe'n glynu wrtho, diolch i Wezir!

 

Bydd yn rhaid i Dai ganolbwyntio mwy ar y gwersi mewn Amddiffyn rhag Lledrith Adwythig gyda'r Hen Filwr o hyn 'mlaen – ac yntau'n ei alw'i hunan yn Swynwr, yr hen ffŵl! Mae'r llanc angen cael hyd i ddyfyn-ysbryd wrth gwrs, 'sai fe ond yn gallu'i ddofi fe, ond mae e'n pendroni gormod dros yr holl ieithoedd a'r syniadau ffansi 'na, heb neilltuo digon o amser i ddysgu'i grefft. Erbyn meddwl, falle bod rhyw ran ddirgel, dywyll, ddwfn ohono'n atynnu pethau o'r fath ato, er gwaetha'r olwg dwp a'r ymddygiad chwit-chwat. Mae'n ambosib cael ei nabod, rywsut, mae'n baradocs byw yn heigio o ormod o groesebau, a'i eiriau gwallgo mor uffernol o ddeniadol, ond yn hunllefus 'fyd. Dw i'n 'y nghael 'yn hun, raid cyffesu, yn ei lico fe'n fawr, er ei fod yn llanc drwg iawn weithiau. Wel, ffôl pawb ar brydiau, on'd ynyn nhw?

 

Serch 'ny oll dw i wrth 'y modd. Dw i di llwyddo ble mae llawer o bobl eraill wedi methu. Pwy fyddai'n meddwl taw fi allai neud Bechingalw? A meddwl i fi ddarganfod "yr elfen ddirgel, hanfodol, a adwaenir dim ond gan y gwir Ddewin" ar hap a ddamwain – ofn, a llid, a serch yr Hyfforddai Ifanc! Diolch i Bluen Olewllyd Bishop! Sdim clem da fi am sut i ddefnyddio'r teclyn, ond mae'r modrwy 'na'n gadael i fi gyflawni pethau gwych! Ond eto i gyd, dros Dymor Edifeirwch Hir wi di bod ati yn nwnsiwn Coleg yr Angylesau Syrthiedig, y tro hwn yn neud cwrs i ddysgu sut i reoli elfennau natur. O, nefi bliw, mae wedi bod yn wych! Licwn i hala “diolch” enfawr i’n tiwtor ni, Arianithi Sesiha, oedd yn seraffaidd, ond eitha sarffaidd ‘fyd. Wel, does fawr o ryfeddod ‘na, achos bod pawb yn mynd yn fwyfwy bwystfilaidd y dyddiau ‘ma. Sa i di cael cymaint o hwyl ers achau, a dyna rywbeth i’w ddathlu yn yr amseroedd tywyll a barbaraidd ‘ma sydd ohoni. 'Sdim rhaid dweud, fe ddysgon ni i gyd lawer o bethau ‘fyd, ac mae’r technegau’n ddefnyddiol iawn i gadw’r gelod bychain peiriannol draw! Yn anffodus, sa i’n gallu rhannu cyfrinachau’r hud gyda chi, er eich lles eich hunain, ac am mod i di addo. Fodd bynnag, wi di bod yn sgrifennu llawer o lythyrau, a phethau i’n papur bro lleol ni, y Malwr-Awyr, dros y blynyddoedd, yn cynnwys adroddiadau ar ddramâu. Felly dyma dipyn bach o’n sgriblan i roi blas i chi ar sut mae pethau wedi bod yn datblygu rown’ fan ‘yn.

 

 

HUD THEATRIG: Cyfarchion, Gyd-leibwyr Diwylliant! Mr Ffred Phantastig sy ‘ma, beirniad y celfyddydau perfformiadol (er nad un sy'n rhy feirniadol!), yn gofyn ‘Ai hon yw dagr a welaf o’m blaen i?’ Y mis ‘ma licwn i gyflwyno i chi adolygiad o ddrama yr es i i’w gwylio ddoe yn Neuadd Dref Aber-cennin. A bod yn onest, y gwir reswm y mynychais i’r digwyddiad oedd achos bod Ethelwen, nith fach fy lojer (sy’n un ar bymtheg oed) yn chwarae rhan bwysig, ond rhaid i fi ddweud, er gwaethaf hynny, y mwynheais i fy hunan yn fawr iawn. Cafodd y ddrama o’r enw ‘Anfadwaith yn yr Anghysbell Ogledd Aethus’ ei hysgrifennu’n wreiddiol gan y dramodydd o Ddytsiwr o’r enw Vihlelm Shpírshvinga, rwy’n credu (hynny yw, ‘Gwilym Chwifiwr-gwaywffon’ yn y Gimbreg). Mae wedi’i lleoli yn y Parth Glas yn yr hen hen ddyddiau. Mae’n cynnwys cymeriadau fel ‘Y Frenhines Teras Mes’ a ‘Bors ap Siôn’ ei chariad, sy’n ei lladd hi yn y pendraw. Ac mae’r ddau ohonyn nhw’n moyn lladd eu gelyn gwaetha, ‘Yr Arglwydd Ieramheel Corbin.’ Ond drwy’r amser, yn y cefndir, y tu hwnt i’r llenni, ar wahân i’r Dewiniaid a’r Pendefigion, dyna ‘Yr Anrhydeddus Arglwyddes MacBeth’ (neu ‘Meykbeds’, neu beth bynnag!), Boneddiges y Siambr Wely i’r Frenhines Waedlyd, yn dyfeisio cynllwynion, a rhaffu celwyddau, a thynnu llinynnau er mwyn cyflawni’i dibenion ysgeler ei hun [3].

 

Mewn gwirionedd, cyfeirir at y ddrama yn aml fel ‘MacBeth’ (yn y Gimbreg), ‘Meykbeds’ (yn y Bretaneg), ‘Metcuid’ (yn y Ddytsieg a’r Ieithoedd Tew eraill), neu ‘Makidyuh’ (yn ieithoedd y Gogledd Kelteg), yn ogystal â sawl enw arall o gwmpas y Byd, yn hytrach na'r teitl hirach [4]. Ac yn y Bretaneg mae pawb yn tueddu i ddweud ‘Wilko Shake-a-Shaft’ wrth siarad am y Bardd, fel bod y dyn godidog yn swnio fel rhyw berfformiwr yn y syrcas, a’r gwaith mawr fel rhyw fath o fyrgyr seimlyd fyddech chi’n fwyta yno (neu foddion ych-a-fi, falle)! Dw i’m yn falch o glywed pobl yn cyfieithu enwau, yn gyffredinol, maen nhw mor bwysig on’d ydyn nhw? (Tybed beth yw’i enw go iawn – ei enw cyfrin – ei enw hud?) Ond mae pawb yn neud ‘ny y dyddiau ‘ma. Dyna’r ffaswin, sbo. Eto i gyd, mae gweinidogion yr EFE yn dechrau pregethu mor uchel rhag defnyddio’r Hen Ffyrdd. Maen nhw eisoes yn dylanwadu ar gymaint sy ar y sain-drosdderbynnydd a sgrin y darlundy, ac mae pethau’n mynd i waethygu’n hwyr neu’n hwyrach, dw i’n ofni. Petai dyn ond yn medru consurio arwr i achub y werin fel yn yr hen ddyddiau – O, na allai!

 

Mae’r ddrama’n cynnwys llawer o wleidyddiaeth hanesyddol a phethau gwael fel arglwyddi sy’n cysgu drwy’r amser ym Mhalas yr Henuriaid Dyrchafedig pan nad ydyn nhw’n dweud celwyddau noeth, caethiwo ac ecsbloetio’r werin bobl, a llofruddio’i gilydd (dyw pethau byth yn newid, ydyn nhw!). Cyffrous iawn ydy’n wir, ond pam y sgrifennai dramodydd o Ddytsiwr am bethau a ddigwyddodd yn y Parth Glas ganrifoedd yn ôl sy’n achosi penbleth i fi. Rwy’n dwlu ar yr hanes arswyd, fodd bynnag, am ysbrydion sy’n gweini ar feddyliau meidrolion, tra’u llanwant o’r corun i’r sawdl â chreulondeb enbytaf, gan dewychu’u gwaed! Rhyfedd o berthnasol i’r sefyllfa yn y wlad hon Bretania heddiw ydy, heb os, hefyd! Creda i (er dw i’m yn gwbl siŵr) fod Pobl y Parth Glas yn eu ciltiau tartan eisiau cipio grym yn Ynysoedd y Teyrnasoedd Anghytûn gyda help yr Undeb Masnachol Milwrol Byd-Eang, gan ddefnyddio technoleg fel peiriannau mwg a drychau hudol.

 

Naeth y nith berfformio’n eithriadol o dda fel yr Arglwyddes MacBeth, gan sgrechian a llefain a rhuthro lan a lawr, wedi’i gwisgo mewn rhyw fath o len, ychydig yn debyg i ysbryd neu wrach. Fel mae’n digwydd, hi sy’n gweini ar y Grymoedd Rhyfedd ‘na o’r enw y Delkvovim sy’n moyn gorfodi’u hewyllys ar yr holl Delkurí sy’n byw yn ein Byd ni, a’u newid am byth dwi’n credu. (Mae’n flin ‘da fi, dw i’m yn siŵr am y geiriau estron yma – gweler isod.) A bod yn onest, lladdodd y llances ardderchog ei hun (dim ond yn y ddrama, wrth gwrs), a phob copa walltog gaeth ei ladd hefyd mae’n ymddangos. Wedi’r cwbl, ‘Efe gaiff waed; ebe hwynt, Gwaed a geith waed,’ fel y dywed y dyfyniad ar y posteri. 

 

Mae pawb yn dweud bod y cyfieithiad o’r ddrama i’r Gimbreg gan y llanc rhyfeddol o ryw wlad annatblygedig ar lan Afon Sed yng Nghalon y Cyfandir (yn ôl pob sôn) o’r enw Daa·hweeth Oh·fé neu Daud Pekar (Dai Baxter, dw i’n weud) yn ardderchog (enw od arno ta be, on’d ife?) [5].  Serch hynny, roedd un peth yn anodd iawn i fi. Ddeallwn i mo’r rhan fwyaf o’r hyn oedd yr actorion yn weud – efallai bod nhw’n siarad yr Iaith Dew mewn llawer o fannau, neu ryw hen dafodiaith od ar Gimbreg – er bod y geiriau’n swnio fel defaid yn brefu neu rywbeth. Rhyw fath o rwtsh, ta be. Neu falle ei bod bron yn amhosib cyfieithu’r gwaith aruthrol hwn. Wedi’r cwbl, maen nhw wir yn lico gwneud cyfansoddeiriau rhyfedd yn yr iaith eithriadol o gymhleth ‘na, Dytsieg, drwy’r amser, on’d dyn nhw? Felly, beth, yn union, oedd yn digwydd? Beth wn i? Serch ny roedd yn brofiad bythgofiadwy, ac yn eithriadol o ddiwylliannol, rhwng yr holl fabanod mewn crochanau, a choedwigoedd yn cerdded, a’r gwaed i gyd mor goch â chetshyp tomato! ‘A’r coed a ddifethodd fwy o’r bobl nag a ddifethodd y cleddyf y diwrnod hwnnw’ – roedd Hanes Proffwydol Hraythvalz yn gywir am hynny’n ddi-os, hyd yn oed os hen hocedwr oedd e.

 

Bydd y cwmni (‘Y Chwaraewyr Chwit-chwat’ fel y’u hadwaenir gan y deallusion – tîm o un fenyw ond gyda saith dilynwr a chynffonnwr ffyddlon) yn hercian o gwmpas trefi a phentrefi’r Deheudir dros y gwanwyn i ddod â mawredd diwylliant i’r werin bobl yn ystod y tymor mwyaf creulon hwn, sy’n codi lelocs yn y pridd mar’, gan ddrysu cofion â chwant. Dylech chi fynd i weld y sioe ddisglair hon yn bendant. Gair i gall – mae mwy na digon o waed yn llifo fel afon lithrog, ludiog drwy’r perfformiad o ddechrau i ddiwedd. Mae na gwyn dipyn o’r hen ddewiniaeth Kvódjú hefyd, yn ogystal â dogn o iaith fras hyd y gwn i. Byddwch yn ofalus os nad ydych yn hoff iawn o gyfresi treisgar yn debyg i ‘Oddi mewn i’r Cysgodion’ ar y sgrin deledol ddieflig (Ww, ond mae’n wir wneud i fi grynu â chyffro bob tro!). 

 

 

DADFLOCIO FY MHIBELLAU: O, gan bwyll nawr, yn hen gymrodyr, yr oedd helbul a helynt yn Ein Tŷ Ni’n ddiweddar gyda’r plymwaith. Nage dyn i gwyno am ddim byd ydw i, ond ar y llaw arall, rwy wastad eisiau diolchi’n wresog i bobl am wasanaeth da. Felly dyma i chi gopi o’r llythyr a anfonais i fynegi pa mor ddiolchgar o’n i pan ges i fy achub rhag tynged waeth na Gwasanaeth Sagrafen Marwhad Cymunedol yn para am chwe awr yn y Tŷ Edifeirwch lleol —

 

‘Twym fel Tostyn’ Gwasanaethau Gwres (Isgwmni Llavascha Rhyng-gyfandirol Cyf., Arbenigwyr mewn: Wres Canolog (Gosod ac Atgyweirio), Gwydro Dwbl, Aerdymheru, Difodi Chwilod, Peiriannau Puro Aer Uwchfioled, Cyfarpar Diogelu Personol, Systemau Gwrth-Dwyll, Gwrth-Lygredd a Rheoli Diogelwch, Gwarchodwyr Personol a Hurfilwyr, Olrhain Pobl Afleoledig, Bwydydd a Diodydd Rhad, Cynhyrchion Harddwch Arloesol, Meddyginiaethau Naturiol ac Artiffisial, Cetris Adloniant Amlsynhwyraidd, Goleuadau Halen Gwynias, a Chludiant Byd-eang Tywod, Iâ, a Sbeisys).

 

Er sylw'r Brif Gyfarwyddwraig Odidog.

Annwyl Gyfnither Ifana!

 

Yn ffodus iawn, yr oedd angen arnaf alw ar eich cwmni am ymgeledd a chymorth yr wythnos diwethaf pan gefais broblemau ofnadwy gyda’r gwres canolog yn y bwthyn pitw ac ynddo chwe ystafell wely y tu ôl i’r mans, lle rwy wedi bod yn byw dros y gaeaf oherwydd stŵr gyda’r lletywraig, a bu bron i mi rewi i farwolaeth. Dweud mwyaf cynnil y ganrif fyddai dweud nad oedd dim Cymraeg rhyngom y pryd hwnnw: syrthiaswn i gysgu tra perfformiai ei nith fach mewn drama, ond problem arall yw honno.

 

Mae eich hysbysebion (fe’u gwelswn ar yr arwyddfwrdd yn Nhesbyro) yn honni mai ‘nyni yw’r mwyaf proffesiynol yn y busnes’ ac mewn gwirionedd, o ganlyniad i’m profiad, dywedwn mai hollol gywir yw’r gosodiad hunananghymeradwyol hwn. Felly, teimlaf fod rhaid imi ysgrifennu atoch er mwyn eich llongyfarch am safon eich gwasanaeth, sydd yn eithriadol o dda. Gyda llaw, nid oes golwg ohonoch yn yr hen archfarchnad ffiaidd o’r enw Uwch-siopau. Dylech roi sawl poster yno, heb oedi rhagor.

 

O’r tro cyntaf pan wnes i alw o bell ar y sain-drosdderbynnydd symudol i ofyn am gymorth, cyrhaeddai eich staff bob amser yn brydlon. Wel, gorau po gyntaf, meddant, ac rwy’n cytuno’n llwyr yn yr achos hwn! Ar ben hynny, roeddent yn amyneddgar pan oeddwn yn holi iddynt ar hir broses beth a oedd yn digwydd (byddai hyn yn cymryd sawl awr o bryd i'w golydd). Roeddent ymhellach yn paratoi potiau o de ar fy nghyfer, er nad ydwyf yn yfed y fath hylif drewllyd; trwyth cen crac yw fy hoff ddiod. Eto i gyd, siriol oedd pob un o’r hanner dwsin llanc, hyd yn oed pan na fwytwn y sleisys enfawr o deisen y cynigient mor rheolaidd â deial, ychwaith. Er, o feddwl amdani’n ddwys, ryw’n credu bod chwe phobl yn ormodol i roi cacen i ddyn, cofiwch chi!

 

Yr oedd ansawdd y gwaith ei hun yn rhagorol hefyd, achos bod y lle yn dechrau teimlo cyn dwymed ag Anialdir Mwyaf Faraqand ar ôl iddynt adael am y trydydd tro, heb sôn am y ffaith bod eich prisiau’n rhesymol dros ben, wedi rhoi cyfrif am yr holl flychau drudfawr o de gwyrdd persawrus o Lwyfandir Bheuht, a’r cacennau pysgod o fforest law'r Rhyfelwragedd Cwedlonol (er bod llawer o bobl yn dweud 'Ysgyfaint y Byd' y dyddiau 'ma!). Dyna pam ryw’n mynnu talu’n llawn ac yn ychwanegu cildwrn sylweddol, er nad craig o arian mohonof, mewn gwirionedd. Rydych yn cynnig gwasanaeth heb ei ail, felly byddaf yn cysylltu â chi eto, a dywedaf wrth fy lletywraig am wneud yn union yr un peth os byddaf yn ei gweld yn fuan (Gobeithio i'r nefoedd na fyddaf!). Daliwch ati: marchogion ar feirch gwynion ydych! Dymunwn i eich canmol i’r cymylau a’ r tu hwnt.

 

Gyda phob dymuniad da gan eich cefnder mwyaf rhadlon,

Fred Phantastig.

 

 

CEFNOGWCH EICH CYMUNED LEOL! Mae pethau’n mynd o ddrwg i wael ym Mryn Melyn ein cymuned hyfryd ni, ar hyn o bryd am fod cwmni o’r enw ‘Uwch-siopau’ eisiau agor archfarchnad enfawr yng nghanol y dref y flwyddyn nesaf. Fe sylweddola pawb eu bod nhw wedi gwneud yn union yr un peth o’r blaen yn y dinasoedd o gwmpas yr ardal, gan achosi i’r rhan fwyaf o werthwyr a chynhyrchwyr lleol golli eu swyddi. Maen nhw’n honni eu bod nhw’n hybu’r economi ac yn creu cyfoeth, ond fel y gwyddoch chi, celwydd noeth yw hyn mewn gwirionedd, a dim ond malu cachu y maent. A beth am Tesbyro? Dyna eisoes y lle lleia drwg i siopa ynddo, fe ddyweda i.

 

Wedi dweud hynny, mae ysgol newydd, tri chant o dai, tafarn, a sinema wedi’u creu yn yr 'ardal ddatblygu' newydd sbon yn Aber-cennin yn ddiweddar, ond ni allaf ddweud o ganlyniad i beth mae hyn wedi digwydd mor sydyn. Y peth nesaf fydd i’w weld yma yw fod llefaryddion rhagrithiol y cwmni (sy'n amlwg yn cael gormod o dâl), yn bwriadu dod lan o'n Prifddinas Hynafol Hyfryd ni i gwrdd ag aelodau’r cyhoedd sy'n ddiniwed a difeddwl-drwg yn ein tref fach bert, er mwyn i ni ‘ddod o hyd i fwy o wybodaeth’ am y sefyllfa ofnadwy sy’n prysur ddatblygu. Ddim gwybodaeth sydd ei heisiau yma, ond weithredu uniongyrchol. Os nad chi, pwy; os nad yn awr, pryd?

 

Byddwch chi’n siŵr o fod yno, yn Neuadd y Dref, 1af Adfywio-fis am 9 o’r gloch y bore i fynegi eich gwrthwynebiaeth i’r cynllun gwael hwn. Defnyddiwch eich llais neu collwch eich hunan-barch! Os na fyddwch yn gwneud dim byd, fe fyddwn ni i gyd yn dioddef yn enbyd yn y dyfodol. Fi a ddylai wybod – dw i fy hunan eisoes wedi colli llawer o fusnes yn gwerthu hufen harddwch y tu mas i Tesbyro. Wi’n credu taw un o’r cynhyrfwr dros Uwch-siopau (y lletywraig resynus 'na, Enwen, siŵr o fod – dratia hi!) a hysbysodd Filisia’r Bobl Wlatgar ynghylch fy menter fach – yr hen gythraul. Gadwech i ni sefyll ynghyd – mewn undeb y mae nerth!

 

 

NEWYDDION CYFFROUS AM ŴYL GWIR A GOLAU: Fel y gŵyr pawb, am fy mhechodau rwy’n trefnu popeth ar gyfer yr ŵyl hon. Rydym ni'n dau ar y pwyllgor wedi dewis Sionyn Tew-ddyn i fod ein siaradwr gwadd. Ro’n ni ‘n arfer bod yn yr un dosbarth gyda’n gilydd pan o’n ni’n gryts nes iddo fe gael ei fwrw mas am ei fod yn dwyn afalau oddi ar yr athrawes. Er eich gwybodaeth, dyma fi’n anfon gair i’r hen gonan sy ddim yn werth pris y stamp a bod yn onest, ond dyna ni, roedd Enwen yn ddi-ildio –

 

Yr Anrhydeddus Siôn Grossmann. Annwyl Syr! Dr Phantastig yw f’enw. Rwy’n byw ym Mryn Melyn, hynny yw, ardal fwyaf dymunol Aberdydd [6], a chadeirydd grŵp bach trafod o’r enw ‘Y Rhan-amserwyr’ ydwyf ar hyn o bryd. Yn gyntaf oll, a allaf eich llongyfarch ar gael eich ethol i Lys y Sêr (trwy deg neu drwy hagr) unwaith eto, o drwch blewyn y tro hwn wrth gwrs! Ond eto i gyd, gwell y drwg a wyddys na'r da na wyddys, fel y medd yr ystyr-forwyr hynnysydd mor graff ond mor anhreiddiadwy [7]! Nid cynddrwg unigolyn ydych chi, wrth reswm, mae angen arnaf ddweud (yn llythrennol ac yn drosiadol!). Wel, rydym yn dathlu eleni hefyd, achos mai ein pen-blwydd yn ddeugain mlwydd oed ydy, ac felly byddwn yn trefnu llawer o ddigwyddiadau drwy’r dref a fydd yn llawn o faneri, fflagiau, a rhubanau (y digwyddiadau a'r dref, y naill fel y llall).

 

Bydd un o’r achlysuron arbennig yn barti yn y bar Streiliaidd o’r enw ‘Y Walabi Ewn,’ Ddydd Rhyngwladol Gwir a Golau, 29ain Coethi-fis, yn dechrau am 3 o’r gloch y prynhawn – caiff pawb ddigon o amser i ymlawenhau felly, gadewch inni ddweud. Byddem wrth ein boddau ped ymunech â ni er mwyn mwynhau gwydraid o win coch a brechdan gaws, a chynnig llwncdestun i’r meirwon craff i gyd. Gwn ichi fynd i’r ‘fan arall,’ sef i Boly-ysgol Rhydrawnt, tra mynychwn innau Goleg Prifdechnig Pontychen. Ond er gwaethaf y ffaith ichi astudio cwrs gwrthgydgyfeiriol, ôl-ddyfodolaidd o'r enw ‘Egwyddorion Ymarfer’ (heb raid graddio) efallai yr areithiech am ychydig funudau (hyd at ddwy awr y gwnâi’r tro) ar bwysigrwydd addysg foesol mewn cymdeithas gyfoes.

 

Nid ydym yn sefydliad cyfoethog, gwaetha’r modd (phrynwn ni ond yr hyn y gellir ei yfed yn y dafarn bob tro!), ac felly mae’n ddrwg iawn gennyf na allaf eich talu am eich trafferth, yn enwedig gan fy mod yn gwybod pa mor bwysig ichi yw cael eich arian yn ei ôl ar draul y cyhoedd. Wedi dweud hynny, bydd yn bosibl inni ddarparu tocyn dwyffordd bws i Aber-cennin ichi os teithiwch yn ystod y cyfnod rhataf. Cefnogwr o gludiant cyhoeddus ydych, heb os nac oni bai. Wedyn bydd rhywun yn cwrdd â chi pan gyrhaeddwch. Rwy’n gobeithio y dewch i gymryd rhan. Nid oes rhaid i mi ddweud, bydd gohebydd o’r papur bro yno ar y dydd; rydym yn dwyn mewn cof fod cyhoeddusrwydd o bwys mwyaf i wleidyddion. Rhowch wybod imi ynglŷn â’r trefniadau cyn gynted ag y bo’n gyfleus, os gwelwch yn dda.

 

Ydwyf, Syr [8], eich ufudd was,

Ffredrig Phantastig, Ysw.

 

 

GWNEUD CAIS AM SWYDD: Ar ôl yr holl broblemau pan o’n i’n gweithio fel lladd nadredd i atal ymosodiad gan drychfilod enfawr yn y Clinig rhyfedd yn y goedwig ger yr hen Dŷ Glas sawl blwyddyn yn ôl, mae wedi bod yn anodd i fi ddal ati gyda swydd barhaol. Ond bryd hyn, prin ydy arian – a phawb drosto'i hunan, ac i'r diawl â'r diwethaf yw dywediad y dydd. Felly, pan ddigwyddais i ddod ar draws yr hysbyseb yn y papur bro am swydd briodol iawn, fe deimlwn y dylwn wneud cais ar unwaith, a dyma beth sgrifennais i —

 

Prif Warchodwraig y Castell Breuddwydiol

Annwyl Fadam Síykōsis! [9]

 

Rwy wedi gweld yr hysbyseb am y swydd o’r enw ‘Cynorthwyydd Hunanlywodraethol Llawn Amser Canolfan Chwedlonol Aberdydd’ yn y papur bro y mis hwn, ac rwy’n awyddus iawn i wneud cais am hon. Nid oedd llawer o fanylion yn yr hysbyseb, felly dymunwn ddweud wrthych rywfaint amdanaf fy hun er mwyn profi fy mod yn addas i wneud y gwaith y bydd rhaid i’w gyflawni o ddydd i ddydd. Rwy’n gweithio gartre ar hyn o bryd fel cyfieithydd rhydd ei law, gan gynhyrchu fersiynau hen lawysgrifau wedi’u hysgrifennu mewn ieithoedd marw fel ‘Y Crochan sy Wastad yn Llawn’ o Bahia, Tir Brasa. Felly gallaf ddechrau ar unwaith. Arferwn weithio fel bio-alcemydd, a deuthum yn arbenigwr hunanaddysgedig pan symudais yn ôl i Gimbria, o ganlyniad i’m diddordeb yn chwedlau Teml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig ym Mhendraw'r Ddaear. Felly mae llawer o brofiad gennyf mewn pethau anarferol.

 

Rwy wedi bod ati’n dysgu’r Gimbreg drwy gydol f’oes, a thybiaf fy mod cyn rhugled â neb arall erbyn hyn. Rwy newydd sefyll yr arholiad priodol i’r cymhwyster o’r enw 'Diploma mewn Astudiaethau,’ a ddarperir gan Sefydliadau Cyfun Rhydrawnt a Phontychen. Pam na chynigir hwn gan Goleg Kimbreg yng Nghimbria? Nid myfi a ŵyr. Llwyddais yn orchestol yn y prawf hwn, ac yn awr gallaf areithio gan ddefnyddio brawddegau erchyll o gymhleth mewn Kimbreg Hynafol, fel y rhai a geir yn ‘Hudoliaeth yr Ieithoedd Keltig,' gan y chwiorydd Lisi a Margot Lyons o'r Parth Glas [opere citātō — P.M.]. (Rwy'n profi ychydig anhwyster gyda dramâu arswyd dra chymhleth wedi'u cyfieithu o'r Ieithoedd Tewion, fodd bynnag, ond na ddylai hynny fod o bwys yn y rôl dan sylw yma, gobeithio.) 

 

Byddwn yn falch o gael cyfle i gefnogi’n hiaith, ein diwylliant, ein hanes, ein chwedlau, a’n harferion od yn y Ganolfan ac i’w hybu yn y gymuned ehangach y tu hwnt – megis trwy hudoliaeth neu beidio. Mae rhaid imi ddweud fy mod yn hoff iawn o anifeiliaid, yn enwedig cathod, ac os bydd angen gallaf drin â phobl yn dda iawn hefyd, yn ôl fy lletywraig arhosol. Rwy’n berffaith siŵr fod y gwasanaeth cymuned yn yr ysgol i blant unigryw, y bu'n rhaid imi 'neud o'r ganlyniad i gamgymeriad anffodus yn y gweithle, wedi bod yn ddefnyddiol iawn o safbwynt o ddysgu deall pobl ifanc a hŷn a’u gormodedd o fannau gwan [10]. Ymhellach, rwy wedi dod o hyd i oriau agor y Ganolfan yn ystod yr wythnos ar y safle ar y rhwydwaith electronig rhyngwladol melltigaid (hynny yw, yr "e-safle"), ac yn wir y credaf mai eithriadol o bwysig ydy e-bresenoldeb. Dymunaf gadarnhau ar fy union fod yr amserau hyn yn addas iawn i'm patrymau gwaith unigryw a'm galluoedd neilltuol.

 

Euthum ar gwrs o’r enw Hyfforddiant mewn Cyfathrebu Pwrpasol, Argyhoeddiadol a Phroffidiol yn Ysgol Ffydd y Ddau Ferthyr Dienw ar Bymtheg a Thrigain yn ddiweddar. Rwy'n gyfarwydd â damcaniaeth ac arfer lledaenu effeithiol, ac yn gallu datblygu cynllun cymhleth ar gyfer ein Canolfan, gan ddefnyddio protocolau ymenyddiau artifisial tra arbenigol gydag algorithmau cyfrinachol i gynyddu ein hamlygrwydd rhithiol am ddim [11]. Ar ben hynny, hoffwn ddefnyddio rhwydweithiau cymdeithasol (a rhai anghymdeithasol!) i weithio’n agos gyda chynulleidfaoedd newydd ac i ennill incwm, gan ddefnyddio’r cyfryngau i hyrwyddo gweithgareddau'r Ganolfan, trwy ysgrifennu straeon addas ar gyfer y newyddion, a thrwy lunio datganiadau i’r wasg.

 

Dim ond dau gwestiwn sydd gennyf, sef yn gyntaf, a fydd angen arnaf wneud ceisiadau am gyllid o gwbl? Rwy wedi ennill maint bach oddi wrth Sefydliad Tywysogaidd Kimbria yn y gorffennol (enw sydd yn annealladwy i’m hymennydd dryslyd o leiaf, am mai "tywysog" ydy teitl yn perthyn i'r Parth Pinc Gormesol, ond dyna ni, 'does dim byd mor rhyfedd â dyn, oes e?) [12], er mwyn gwneud yr arbrofion perthnasol ynglŷn â pherffeithio elicsir clirwelediad o fadarch meddyginiaethol, a cyffur lleddfol y bydd milfeddygon yn ei ddefnyddio ar geffylau, gwartheg ac anifeiliaid eraill (ond sydd yn eithriadol o effeithiol ar fodau dynol hefyd, ac yn dda iawn i drin heintiau croen). Wedi dweud hynny, gwerthfawrogwn hyfforddiant ychwanegol pe bai hwn ar gael. Rwy bob amser wrth fy modd o gael hyd i wybodaeth newydd ryfedd, er bod rhaid i ddyn gyfaddef bod hyn yn mynd yn fwyfwy anodd wrth iddo heneiddio!  

 

Fy ail gwestiwn yw hwn: beth fydd yr amserau cyfatebol dros y Sul? Fe fyddai’n well gennyf weithio ar Sobr-ddydd nag ar brynhawn Gwendid-ddydd, gan fod angen imi fynychu seremoni yn y Deml bryd hynny, yn fy rôl fel Ceidwad y Cyfrinachau. Gobeithiaf y diwallech fy anghenion arbennig yn hyn o beth. (O, gyda llaw, mae gennyf drydydd cwestiwn bach arall hefyd. Nid oes raid arnaf lawer o arian ychwanegol, gan fy mod yn byw ar incwm preifat, er nad craig o arian mohonof fi a dweud y lleiaf. Rhaid imi ofyn, felly: faint fydd y cyflog rheolaidd, os gwelwch yn dda? – Mae fy ymgynghorydd ariannol Ethelwen wedi mynnu fy mod yn darganfod y manylion i gyd cyn dechrau ar yr antur newydd hon!) Rwy’n brwd ddisgwyl eich ymateb. Ryw’n edrych ymlaen at ddechrau cyn gynted ag y bo'n bosibl ac mewn gwirionedd ofnadwy o gyffrous ydwyf.

 

Yr eiddoch yn gywir,

Ffred Phantastig.

 

Wel, dyna ni wedi dod i ben ar y sgwrsio unwaith to, bobol annwyl! Hwyl am y tro, wela i chi i gyd fis nesaf gyda rhagor o ddiwylliant, materion cyfoes, hysbysebion cymunedol ac yn y blaen, ac ati hyd at gyfogi – a chofiwch, ‘Tyrd, gad im’ dy gythru. Ni’th ddalaf, ond fe welaf di’n wir.’

 

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[0] Nana Arianithi Sesilithi (neu Méytēr Ari·adní Shthesslethís, neu Mékhtēr Kr’nday Shezesieldish) y gelwir hi hefyd (yn ôl rhai). Mae eraill yn honni mai cudd-weithredwr i Gwlt Kykyllog y Karthwyr Kysegredig ydy, sy’n gweithio’n isdrothwyol ers achau i ryddhau pŵer anymwybodol anfesuradwy’r proletariat trwy ddefnyddio defodau uffernol fel “Torri Pennau’r Plant Glo” gyda chymorth cyffrowyr estron amheus (o’r Cyfandir Deheuol gwarthus, o bosibl). Rhaid cyfaddef nad oes neb erioed wedi gallu profi’r sarhad enllibus hwn yn erbyn yr awdures aruthrol (wel, o leiaf mae’n ymddangos bod nifer o bobl rwy’n gyfarwydd â nhw – yn cynnwys Ff Llwynlesg i sicrwydd – wedi clywed am ei phamffledi hunangymorth danddaearol hyd yn oed os nad ydynt wedi’u darllen nhw’n ofalus). — P.M.

 

[1] Am flynyddoedd, roedd Ffredrig Llwynlesg yn ymhyfrydu mewn golygu’r erthyglau yn y Papur Cymunedol dwyieithiog lleol o’r enw “Y Malwr-Awyr / The Air-Masher” (ac yn wir ysgrifennai fe’r rhan fwyaf ohonyn nhw fel arfer). Yn aml byddai fe’n sgriblan yr hyn allai dyn yn ei ddisgrifio fel “cofnodion dyddlyfr” (a sôn yn gwrtais) ar gefn rhai o’r tudalennau. Dw i wedi eu hintegreiddio’r nodiadau hyn yma ac mewn mannau eraill i roi darlun llawnach o’r holl bethau oedd yn digwydd yng Nghimbria, er nad oedd e’n bwriadu eu cyhoeddi ar y pryd, gellid tybio. A bod yn berffaith onest, dw i ddim yn gwybod a welai unrhyw ran o’r deunydd hwn olau dydd ar unrhyw adeg, er ei fod wedi’i gynhyrchu’n broffesiynol iawn. (Yn aml, byddwn i’n sylwi ar bentyrrau enfawr o dudalennau diymgeledd dros bob man yn “anheddfa gymedrol” Ffredrig.) Dw i’n siŵr, fodd bynnag, fod yr hen “ddewin ieithyddol” yn arfer hala cryn amser (gormod o amser, falle) yn gweithio ar “ei broject bach e” bob mis, ac yn mwynhau’r profiad yn fawr iawn.— P.M.

 

[2] Nodyn at y darllenydd: Ni fûm erioed, wrth reswm, yn un i ymroi i sylweddau meddwol, heb sôn am fod yn gaeth iddynt. Fodd bynnag, dysgais gan y Meistr Hlothrig Faland-ashé [hynny yw, Ffredrig Llwynlesg neu ‘Ffred Phantastig’ — P.M.] (ac, yn ystod fy ymchwiliadau helaeth a phoenus, gan sawl person arall), fwy o ffeithiau diddorol a brawychus ynghylch ffwng ffrîci, madarch meddyginiaethol, llwydni llesmeiriol, medd marwol, snisin sanctaidd, a sbeis syfrdanol, nag y medrwn i fod wedi breuddwydio amdanynt erioed. — D.B.P.

 

[3] Dywedir gan y “gwybodusion” fod gwir enw’r cymeriad hwn (sy’n anghrybwylladwy), yn dod o’r Hen Yrtheg yn wreiddiol, ac yn cynnwys hud nerthol iawn, er y gall fod yn dra anlwcus hefyd. Dyna pam mae’r amryw enwau eraill yn cael eu defnyddio. Efallai fod ‘MacBeth’ yn rhyw gyfuniad clyfar o ‘M’ (‘Mes’) ac ‘C’ (‘Corbin’), ynghyd â ‘beyth’ (ail lythyren yr abjad Fretheg, yn golygu ‘tŷ’). Yn y Gimbreg, wrth gwrs, mae ‘mêc’ yn golygu ‘gwneuthuriad rhywbeth; y dull y gwneir rhywbeth,’ ac mae'r cwestiwn ‘beth?’ yn tarddu o ‘pa beth?’. Erbyn meddwl, mae’r enw 'Meykbeds' yn fy atgoffa o’r ddywediad (yn y Bretaneg o leaif, yn hytrach na’r Gimbreg): 'Wedi cyweirio’r gwely’n galed, rhaid ichwi orwedd ynddo.' — Ff Llwynlesg. Mewn gwirionedd, yn yr Hen Ilkneg, “Lóhdnum” a “Láhdy” fuodd y teitlau ar y bois pwysicaf a’r merched heb eu hail ond gaeth yr enwau rhagorol ‘ma eu llygru dros amser (fel popeth arall, mae’n flin ‘da fi ddweud). A, wamaled tafod y Thorlin! — 

D.B.P.

 

[4] ‘Does neb ar wyneb y Blaned Ffrwythlon hon yn deall sut mae llenorion ysbrydoledig yn meddwl na’n gweithredu, na pham maen nhw’n gwneud yr hyn a wnân nhw, yn fy marn i, er gwaethaf y holl theorïau mwyaf cyfoes ynghylch ynghylch “hudoliaeth seicocaotig” – er mai’r enw manwl gywir arni ydy “ffaneroneg,” megis a ddefnyddiaf yn fy ngwaith arloesol. (Ac rwy’n cyfeirio at yr awdur gwreiddiol ac at Daud Pekar y cyfieithydd ifanc, y naill a’r llall, yma.) Felly aros yn ddirgelwch sanctaidd a wna gwir ystyr teitl y ddrama hon (yn ogystal â nifer helaeth o bethau eraill ym mhob cynhyrchiad llenyddol, o’m rhan i). Ond dyma sawl syniad sy wedi dal fy sylw yn ddiweddar ynglŷn â manylion a allai fod yn berthnasol. Gyda golwg ar yr elfen gyntaf, yn y Ddytsieg rydym yn meddwl am “machen,” sef “gwneud, cynhyrchu, paratoi,” a “mac,” neu “dyn, boi.” Ac o ystyried yr ail ran, yn y Ddytsieg y ceir “beten” (“gweddïo”), “bett” (“gwely”), neu “bedarf” (“angen, eisiau”). Mae’r elfen gynta’n swnio fel “maca,” sef “plentyn maeth” yn y Gimbreg. Neu efallai, “mach” (“meichau, meichiau, meichion, meich” yn y lluosog) a olyga berson sy’n mynd yn gyfrifol am sicrhau cyflawni contract, neu am ymddangosiad rhywun mewn llys; gwarantwr dros dalu dyled, neu dros wirionedd honiad; rhywun sy’n ymrwymo dros blentyn yn ystod y Seremoni Olchi; gwystl neu wystlddyn. Eto i gyd, wrth synfyfyrio uwchben yr ail syllaf, caiff dyn ei atgoffa mai, yn y Gimbreg, “bedd” yw man claddu, twll wedi’i gloddio yn y ddaear i dderbyn arch neu gorff marw, yn enwedig un a nodir gan garreg fedd neu dwmpath; beddrod; carreg fedd. Ar y llaw arall, “peth” neu “pethau” sy’n golygu achos, mater, busnes; diddordebau, amgylchiadau, amodau; gweithred; digwyddiad; yr hyn a ddywedir neu a feddylir; datganiad, barn, syniad; nodwedd, priodoledd, neu ansawdd. Gallai “Metcuid” ddod o’r Etrwsgeg (cofier bod siaradwyr yr Ieithoedd Tewion yn hoff iawn o ddefnydio ymadroddion hynafol), “M et C Quid?”, neu “mēta + quid” ble mai “mēta” ydy “côn, cyfyngiad, cyffin, diben, postyn terfynol, pyramid, trobwynt” a “quid” ydy “am beth? / beth? / pam? / sut? / wel!” (noder hefyd fod “MC” yn cyfateb i 1,100). Gallai “Makidyuh” tarddu o’r Eirweg “mak” (“mab”) a “kidyuh” (“rhan”). Mewn ieithoedd eraill, mae “mac” yn golygu “aregyn, cwac, cymar, mam, pechod, pabi, puteinfeistr.” Mae “beth” yn golygu “ydym, ydych, maent; byddai.” Mae “meyk” yn golygu “awyren, cwmwl, cymysgu, llu.” Ac mae “bed” yn golygu “aderyn, bydysawd, drwg, gofynna di, llain.” Pwy a ŵyr pa beth a fwriadwyd? Nid fi! Ond, wedi dweud hynny, mae’r Grym Dienw’n cyflwyno’i roddion mewn ffyrdd dirgel, wedi’r cwbl (yn ôl Nam-shaon, o leiaf), ond yw e? Felly, byddwn ni’n darganfod rhywbeth dwfn wedi’i gelu tu fewn yng nghyflawnder amser, siŵr o fod! — D.B.P.

 

[5] Roedd Dai Baxter fel “croengerddwr” o Ganolbarth Shaywiya [hynny yw, “nahwal” — P.M.], a allai gymryd pa siâp bynnag oedd eisiau o dydd i ddydd a gwisgo personoliaethau aneirif yn dibynnu ar yr angen. Yn y Byd sydd ohoni a newidia mor gyflym, mor ddiamcan, mor wyllt, ac mor anhrefnus, fe oedd yn craffu ar ffolineb bodolaeth a’i ddarlunio mor fanwl gywir ac mor ddoniol, diddorol, a thorcalonnus. Roedd pob un o’i “berfformiadau” – o’i fywydau – yn llawn comedi a thrasiedi a wnâi i chi chwerthin, a meddwl, a gofyn cwestiynau am y rhagdybiadau mwya cyffredin ynghylch eich hunan a’r Felin Faluriedig sy gymdeithas. Ond er cymryd y Gwaith Mawr gymaint o ddifrif, fe fyddai’r lama ifanc twp bob tro’n jocan am ben y diddwythiad rhesymegol annilys yma: “Dynion eraill a fydd farw; Nid dyn arall mohonof fi; Felly, ni fyddaf farw.” [“gwadu’r rhagflaenydd” ((E ⇒ M & ~E) ⇒ ~M) — P.M.] Rywfodd neu’i gilydd, dw i’n credu, gobeithio, bydd e'n byw am byth. — Ff.Ll.

 

[6] Gyda llaw – Sut mae dyn yn ynganu enw’r dre hell a hyfryd ‘ma ble dw i’n byw ar hyn o bryd, dw i’n eich clywed yn gofyn? Wedi’r cyfan, mae’r enw wedi dod yn gwbwl Gimbreg dros y canrifoedd, ac wrth gwrs, mae pwyslais yn ein hiaith hynafol ni bron bob amser ar y goben. (Yn llawer iawn o ieithoedd eraill, mae ar y silla gynta, neu fe fydd raid i’w ddangos gan ddefnyddio acenion od fel arall!) Ta be, mae’r rhai sy’n gwbod eu pethau’n dweud Aber-DYDD heb lond gwniadur o petruster, ar sail ystyriaethau ieithyddol astrus mewn Kelteg Hynafol [gweler: "Hudoliaeth yr Ieithoedd Keltig,"L Lyons ac M Lyons, Aberdydd; Gwasg y Llychlynwyr. — P.M.].. Mae’r ynganiad ‘ma’n cael ei gynrychioli fel “abɛrˈdiːð” yn y symbolau lleisiol cyffredin. Fe fyddwch chi’n gweld y sillafiad Aber-dydd hefyd wedi’i blastro ar arwyddion hwnt ac yma o bryd i’w gilydd i adlewyrchu’r pwyslais hwn. Mae ‘na rai eraill sy’n gwybod yn well yn ôl y sôn, fodd bynnag, ac yn mynnu dweud, yn hollol anghywir, AB-er-dydd (neu hyd yn oed yn waeth, Ab-ER-dydd, er bod hynny’n swnio’n eithriadol o od i ‘nghlust dyner i). [Yr un rhai sy’n mawrygu’r hen Yarl Aber-Dygdhar, mae’n siŵr. — D.B.P.] Byddai’n werth chweil cofio taw yn yr hen iaith Yrtheg, mae’r ymadrodd “abelé dodí” (AB-eley DO-diy) yn golygu “syndod rhyfedd” ac felly dw i’n credu taw fi sy’n gywir, fel arfer, er i’r geiriau fwtanu yn “apele thothu” dros y milenia. Pam bod rhaid i bopeth newid bob amser? Dyw hi’m yn deg, ddim yn deg o gwbl! — Ff.Ll.

 

[7] Fe ddatganiff Meëbiyws Deridê vil-Sosyurgh, disgybl disglair y Dyrchafedig Ddeon Mow-káhta Káhzwel ac Ysgrifennydd Sefydlol Ysgol yr Ystyr-forwyr fel a ganlyn (“Morthwyl Logoffilig i Ddymchwel y Siambr Arswyd Ieithegyddol”): “Rydym yn cofio bod model hen-ffasiwn gwneud ystyr yn rhagdybio ‘arwydd fflat’ neu ‘is-arwydd’ sydd yn ddau-ddimensiwn ac yn annherfynol denau. Mae ei ddau wyneb yn cynrychioli’r fōrma a’r essentia, a’r bwysicaf o’r ddyw, sef yr essentia, uchaf. Mae’r llun ôl-ddyfodolaidd yn ddirdroi’r stribed trwy 180 gradd, ac wedyn yn asio’r godreon cyferbyn a’i gilydd i ffurfio gwrthrych tri-dimensiwn newydd sydd ag un wyneb di-dor yn unig, un ‘na ellir ei gyfeirio’ -- y medrai dyn yn ei alw’n ‘or-arwydd.’ Bydd bellach yn bosibl ‘olrhain’ llwybr ar hyd canol y stribed, o fan cychwyn yn y fōrma, yr holl ffordd o amgylch y stribed, gan basio trwy’r essentia, a dychwelyd heb lestair at y pwynt gwreiddiol. Ar gyfyl unrhyw ystyr neilltuol, gellir gwahaniaethu dau bosibiliad (ar bob ochr i’r ‘olin’), ond yn gyfan, bydd yr ystyron yn cyfuno -- ac ni wahaniaethir yr ‘ystyron lleol’ hyn ond gan yr amser i dramwyo’r arwyddhau’n ddi-dor. Mae’n bosibl dangos anocheledd yr ‘olin’ yn ogystal â throi a throelli’r broses semiotig ymhellach yn geometrig. Os bydd dyn yn torri’n anghymesur mewn perthynas â’r llwybr a ddisgrifiwyd uchod, yr holl ffordd o amgylch y gor-arwydd i geisio datrys problem ddyrys ystyr, ni fydd y ddolen droëdig yn syrthio’n ddwy ddolen ar wahân, ond yn ffurfio ddau stribed llai wedi’u cydgloi -- un yn or-arwydd, a’r arall yn is-arwydd wedi’i ddirdroi ddwywaith! Trwy dorri ar hyd y llinell gymesur, dom ond un gor-arwydd hir fydd y canlyniad. Dyma wir gwyllt cyfathrebu: yn anfynych y mae’n hawdd; nid ydy byth yn syml. Ni roddwn ni’r gorau felly i frwydro yn erbyn iaith!” —  P.M.

 

[8] Yr hen gono iddo! A’r ffolaf o bob ffôl yw’r hen ffôl! — Ff.Ll.

 

[9] Aelod blaengar o Chwiorydd Inenzus yw Madam Síykōsis, dan yr enw Xetlva Tshexul, yn ôl Gertrude Llwynlesg, er ei bod yn defnyddio’r enw Grend·ura Dzangzar hefyd. Llidir y ffoliglau blew dros ei chorff i gyd yn ofnadwy a pharhaol o ganlyniad i un o’r heintiau bacteriol anwelladwy newydd a ymddangosodd yn Nghalon y Cyfandir, mae’n flin ‘da fi ddweud, ac felly mae’n gwisgo fêl o’i phen i’w sawdl drwy’r amser. (Gyda’r llaw, Dai Procter ddwedodd hyn wrtha i gyda rhyw awch anweddus iawn, yn fy marn i.) Mae’r hen Ffred Llwynlesg wedi trio rhoi ei olchdrwyth lliniarol sbesial o’r enw Dagrau Mileinig Zundlakla iddi sawl gwaith dros y flynyddoedd, yn rhad ac am ddim, p’un oedd yn hoffi hynny neu beidio, ond doedd dim diddordeb o gwbl gyda hi, mae’n ymddangos. Tybed pam? (Mor siomedig oedd e am iddo weithio fel lladd nadredd i neud y feddyginiaeth ‘ma, gan fethu drosodd a throsodd, a llwyddo dim ond ar y pumed neu chweched cynnig ar ôl rhyw ddatguddiad ysgytwol yn y Parth Pinc Gormesol. Yr enw oedd yn ei atgoffa o “Zv-m’lkvu djín,” hynny yw, yr Hen Dduwdodau Erchyll, fel mae’n digwydd.) Ond, erbyn meddwl, mae fy hoff gyfansoddwraig i (G.Ll.) wastad yn honni taw drwy dderbyn ei ddioddefaint a’i drawsffurfio gall dyn yn newid y Byd. Wel, dyna syniad hyfryd yn wir, ond o’m rhan i, dw i’n cloffi rhwng dau feddwl amdano fe o hyd. — P.M.

 

[10] Mae Ff.Ll. yn cyfeirio yma at Ysgol Ffydd Arbrofol ac Arloesol i Blant Unigryw (YFfAABU) dan reolaeth Chwiorydd a Brodyr cangen ranbarthol Cymdeithas Ostyngedig Arolygwyr a Chywirwyr. Ceir, er enghraifft, “Dathliad Gorfoleddus Difancoll Thebe”, “Y Ddau Ferthyr Dienw ar Bymtheg a Thrigain”, “Dolur y Ffaeleddau Anniwygiadwy”, a “Gogoniant y Saith Air Angheuol.” Y farn gyffredin ymhlith yr isddosbarth oedd bod pob un o’r tai hyfforddi rhagorol hyn yn diogelu crair glân yn ei gysegr, i iselhau a goleuo’r disgyblion, yr acolytiaid, a’r sgolastigiaid, i gynorthwyo eu darostwng, a dyrchafu eu haddoli. Rhai gwrthgilwyr tra threiddgar a oedd yn sythweled, fodd bynnag, mai gwrthrychau ocwlt halogedig o’r math gwaethaf a gelwyd yno dan yr amddiffyniad mwyaf i’w defnyddio at ddibenion anfatach o lawer, nad oedd sôn amdanynt. Clywais si fod y clerigwyr yn gweithio’n llechwraidd i gonsurio grymoedd caddugol, agor pyrth rhyng-ddimensiynol, croesi pontydd goruwchfydol, a galw ar endidau allfydol – hynny oll er anrhydedd diderfyn yr Egni Hollbresennol, wrth reswm. — D.B.P.

 

[11] Dyma "fodel" tra syml ymennydd artiffisial mwy cymhleth o'r enw “rhwyll dadansoddol nodylaidd,” sydd yn amlygu'r egwyddorion cyffredinol serch hynny. Yn y “modiwl nod sengl,” dim ond un “nod” sydd, ac iddo “fias” newidiol {b(k)} ym mhob “epoc” {k} (yn aml, mae hwn yn hafal i sero ar y dechrau), a “chyfradd ddysgu” ddigyfnewid {r}. Mae gan y nod n mewnbwn newidiol {x1(k) ... xn(k)} a'r “allbwn targed” cyfatebol {h(k)} ym mhob epoc {k}. Mae gan bob mewnbwn “bwys” newidiol {w1(k) ...  wn(k)}, ym mhob epoc {k}. Mae'r rhain yn cynrychioli pa mor “gryf” mae'r mewnbynnau'n dylanwadu ar y nod, ac mae'u gwerthoedd wedi'u dewis ar hap ar y dechrau. Mae un “gwerth disgwyliedig” {z(k)} ym mhob epoc. Dangosir hyn oll yn y diagram isod.

 

 

Yn epoc {k}, mae un set o ddata {x1(k) ... xn(k)} yn cael ei phasio trwy'r rhwyll nodylaidd gan ddefnyddio proses o'r enw “lledaenu ymlaen.” Mae'r nod yn cyfrifo y(k) = b(k) + x1(k) w1(k) +...+ xn(k) wn(k). Wedyn, mae'n defnyddio “ffwythiant actifadu” {f} (a all fod yn aflinol yn ôl y angen y broblem neilltuol), i gynhyrchu “gwerth disgwyliedig” i'r epoc hwnnw: z(k) = f( y(k) ).

 

Mae'r rhwyll nodylaidd yn “dysgu” trwy broses o'r enw “lledaenu'n ôl.” Mae'n cyfrif “cost” yr epoc hwnnw, sef: C(k) = g( z(k) – h(k) ). Ym mhob epoc {k}, diweddarir y pwysau a'r bias fel a ganlyn (yma, cynrychiola'r llythrennau bras F ac G "ddeilliaid" y ffwythiannau cyfatebol f ac g): wj(k+1) = wj(k) – r G( z(k) – h(k) ) F(y(k)) xj(k); a hefyd b(k+1) = b(k) – r G( z(k) – h(k) ) F(y(k)). Ailadroddir y broses dros epocau nes y cyflawnir “cyflwr gorffen” rhagbenodedig.

 

Gellir defnyddio rhwyllau dadansoddol nodylaidd ar gyfer: brasamcanu ffwythiannau a dadansoddi atchwel; dosbarthu ac adnabod patrymau; a phrosesu data. Mae rhai’n eu beirniadu gan ddweud bod rhaid iddynt ddefnyddio meintiau enfawr o fewnbwn yn ogystal â llawer iawn o gof a storfa rithiol. Mae eraill yn cwyno eu bod yn llwyddo er nad ydym yn deall yn union sut y maent yn gweithredu. Ar y llaw arall, mae sawl arbenigwr wedi dangos y gellir eu defnyddio i ddatrys amryw broblemau cymhleth, ac yn honni mai addawol iawn ydy modelau hybrid (yn cyfuno rhwyllau nodylaidd a thechnegau symbolaidd). — D.B.P.

 

[12] Mae’n hollol gywir, wrth gwrs. Fe fu’n well ‘da’r Kimbriaid o hyd deitlau democrataidd fel “Bencapten yr Herwyr.” O ran dangos parch ymhlith Gweision y Brenin Newydd, dyma’r drefn bigo swyddogol. Mae anifeiliaid y maes a’r taeogion yn seboni’r llaethferch a’r rhai dibwys eraill, sy’n gwenieithio i’r rhyddfreinwyr, sy’n ymgreinio o flaen yr henaduriaid sy’n ymostwng i’r Uwch Isfwtler, sy’n cowtowio o flaen y Cyfrin Gynghorwr, sy’n cynffonna’r Is-ysgrifennydd, sy’n bicafio i’r gwastrawd, sy’n moesymgrymu gerbron y Swyddogyn Dyrchafedig, sy’n darostwng i’r Ordderch, sy’n ymgrymu i’r Rhaglyw, sy’n saliwtio Mân Aelodau’r Teulu Brenhinol (Tywysogesau a Thywysogion), sy’n camu glin i’r Kwén, sy’n cael anwesu ffigur mwyaf nobl ei Fawrhydi’r Kyning (bid i’r Doethineb Tragwyddol ei fendithio a’i gadw!). — D.B.P.